Shropshire artist John Finn tells the inspiring story of his struggles since birth with deafness and blindness ahead of his exhibition at the Bear Steps Art Gallery from May 12th – May 25th.
My name is John Finn. I was born profoundly deaf, and use British Sign Language to communicate with. My name in BSL is the sign of a shark fin breaking the surface of the ocean. This may seem strange to you, but my Deafness does not seem like a disability to me.
However, I also have sudden onset sight loss; a ticking timebomb that will eventually blow me away into a chasm of pitch black. This is a disability, and one that I have been waiting for and expecting since I was six years old. Luckily I had parents who encouraged me to try all sorts of activities while I was still sighted. This positive attitude rubbed off on me and I had no fear for failure. I was encouraged to embrace risks and failures and learn from them.
I trained as a filmmaker and later completed my MA in computer animation. I wrote a final thesis on sign language in animation. I went on to set up a company specialising in producing animation for the deaf.
All went well, until one day I realised I had difficulty seeing the difference between the colours red and green, they blended into one colour. My suspicions were confirmed when my mother brought a bowl of mushy green looking fruit that I could not recognise. My wife told me what the fruit were using sign language; ‘strawberries.’ My brain corrected itself and allowed me to see the fruit as bright red.
I started to see less details around me. I no longer see facial expression: no eyebrows, wrinkles, even noses. I can see shapes, but no details. It is like seeing a child drawing, or a pixilated image.
My vision deteriorated to the point where I had to close down my company and stop working. Then our daughter came into our lives, also born deaf, raising the question from which one of us, me or my wife, did her deafness come from. Sometime later, my worst fears were confirmed – she inherited her deafness from me, along with my sight condition, which means she will one day go blind. The guilt was overwhelming, throwing me into a dark depression with no hope ahead of me. I could not figure out what to do with my own life. I was 36 years old.
One day, I drew some shapes in the sand at the beach, shapes and patterns. People were mesmerised by the drawings, despite me not seeing what I had created. It was an eureka moment for me, I realised you don’t need eyes to create art. Back at home I dusted down an old touch screen monitor. Slowly and gingerly I created a pattern. I showed to a few people and got a good response, and this gave me confidence – my mojo came back just like my past sighted youth.
John will be exhibiting his work as a Deaf Blind Artist at the Bear Steps Art Gallery from May 12th – May 25th. The exhibition is titled, ‘This Is My Name.’